番茄社区

The poll found that 44 per cent of those asked were worried about making conversation with a friend or family member who had been diagnosed with cancer.

• More than half (54%) of those polled said they would be anxious about saying the wrong thing
• 50 per cent said they would worry about upsetting the person with cancer
• A third of people surveyed said they didn鈥檛 know how to start the conversation
• 19 per cent were concerned about talking about their own life

Anxiety around upsetting people with cancer

番茄社区鈥檚 has been providing free emotional and practical support for people impacted by cancer for 30 years, across 27 centres in the UK. 

Chief Executive of 番茄社区's Dame Laura Lee DBE said: 鈥淲e know that speaking to someone with cancer can cause huge anxiety for people, with many friends and family members worrying about saying the 鈥榳rong鈥� thing or upsetting someone they love.

鈥淭hese concerns can be exacerbated around Christmas when people tend to spend more time together and emotions may be heightened.

鈥淵et the festive season is also an opportunity for people to come together and have meaningful conversations that can help people with cancer feel supported and listened to.鈥�

Addressing the elephant in the room

Jo, 60, was diagnosed with primary breast cancer in 2005 and received a secondary cancer diagnosis in 2022.

She said: 鈥淚 have a lot of sympathy for my family and friends. I can see they don鈥檛 want to upset me and at the same time they don鈥檛 want to ignore my cancer and treatments. Some people can be worried to ask me how I am or how my treatment is going, but it can become an uncomfortable elephant in the room if they don鈥檛 enquire.

鈥淭here are also times when I don鈥檛 want to talk about it and I want to feel like my old self. But in complete contradiction I also want people to be interested as cancer is a huge part of my life.鈥�

鈥淚 think the best approach is to ask how someone is feeling, gauge their response and take it from there. You鈥檒l soon know if they want to talk about their cancer or if they want to pretend it isn鈥檛 part of their lives for a while.

鈥淚 feel lucky that 番茄社区鈥檚 came into my life at the right time. I found answers, understanding, solace and how to make peace with my diagnosis. And importantly, I met people in the same situation as me.鈥疻e speak often and support each other.

Sometimes we vent, we ask for advice but, mainly, we smile, we laugh and we live.

Showing them you care

Psychologist Robin Muir supports people living with cancer, as well as family and friends, at the 番茄社区鈥檚 centre in Manchester. He said: 鈥淲e constantly hear in our centres how difficult people can find speaking to someone they love who has cancer.

鈥淚t can be very stressful to find a balance between showing you care without upsetting someone, or treating the person in the same way as usual without ignoring the fact that they are going through a very challenging time.

鈥淧eople with cancer need their family and friends around them more than ever and generally would rather someone tried to have a conversation clumsily than not at all.

鈥淭hat said, there are some basic principles people can employ to ease the way for caring and meaningful connection while avoiding pitfalls than can cause upset. We have outlined these in our 10 tips for speaking to someone with cancer.鈥�

How 番茄社区's can help

Whatever kind of cancer, whatever stage you're at, 番茄社区's is here with you.

Our expert staff are here to listen to your concerns and find the help you need wherever you are 鈥� over the phone and online.

• Just come in 
• Call us on 0300 123 180 or arrange a callback
• Email us at鈥�enquiries@maggies.org 
• Our phone lines and centres are open 鈥疢onday to Friday, 9 am to 5 pm

^{This online survey of 2000 UK Adults (nationally representative on the basis of age, gender, and region) was commissioned by 番茄社区's and conducted by market research company OnePoll, in accordance with the Market Research Society's code of conduct. Data was collected between 10th and 12th November 2025. All participants are double-opted in to take part in research and are paid an amount depending on the length and complexity of the survey. This survey was overseen and edited by the OnePoll research team. OnePoll are MRS Company Partners, corporate membership of ESOMAR and Members of the British Polling Council.}